Jen Hatmaker for President. No, I’m being serious. This lady cracks me up. Her brutal honesty about parenting has captivated millions. She says what we moms are feeling. See her Worst End of School Mom Ever post and you’ll see why it had almost 500,000 Facebook likes/comments. Explaining that her last signature in her child’s take home folder was over a month old, she says, “I’m good at other things.” Reminds me of the phrase I use when I’m not good at something: I say “that’s not my spiritual gift.” Problem. Solved. Who can argue with God?
I’m loving her book For the Love. You know that phrase “for the love”, right? Synonymous with “good grief” or “for crying out loud” or “for Pete’s sake” (whoever Pete is). But she didn’t name the book this because it’s her favorite phrase. It became the title of her book because she realized the contents are all about LOVE:
This is why we live and breathe: for the love of Jesus, for the love of our own soul, for the love of our families and people, for the love of our neighbors and this world. That is all that will last.Honestly, it is all that matters. Because as Paul basically said: We can have our junk together in a thousand areas, but if we don’t have love, we are totally bankrupt.”
So after starting Jen’s book, I had four AHA moments (and I’m hardly 40 pages into it!) that I thought I would share:
1. Say “For the Love”… About lots of things
The word I have abused over the past few years has been “seriously?” Matched with my incredulous tone and a snarky look, I have perfected it. (And so have my children.) Saying something like “for the love” or “seriously” means I’m putting it out there in the universe and getting it off my chest. When something really gets on my last nerve that I’m annoyed/peeved/frustrated, “for the love” is the universal cry where your can express how you feel and get rid of your (insert emotion here). And it’s a far cry from saying something you wish you hadn’t. I call that winning!
2. Find What You Love (But Beware “the Calling”)
What makes you tick? As my friend Patti says, “What pops your cork?” Stop and think about that for a minute.
OK, now would you say this is your calling?
Guess what? That was a trick question. Here’s the thing: beware of “the Calling” with a capital C. Let’s not get all caught up in this and stumble around for years listening for some voice or uncertain if we’ve found what we were always destined to become as if it’s some grand prize to be won. I’ve been there, done that. I’m still trying to figure it out what I’m doing. But here’s the thing. I cannot lose sight of what is right in front of me while I am off with my head in the clouds trying to find the elusive “Calling.”
My kids need me. Not all the time, but parenting teens and tweens is no joke. I thought when they were little was hard. Well, apparently not, because that is just the warm-up that gets you ready for the game. My kids need me to be fully present and not always with my nose in my blog or my work or any other variety of distractions that pull my attention away. I’ve gotta realize that my calling is as a MOM. And right now, I need to get off the computer and tell my kiddos goodnight and take an everloving break from the computer. For the Love! (This really happened.)
I like how Jen describes it:
“Maybe we can exit the self-imposed pressure cooker of ‘calling’ and instead just consider our ‘gifts’…You don’t need to wait another day to figure our your calling. You’re living it, dear one. Your gifts have a place right now, in the job you have, in your stage of life, with the people who surround you.”
What I’m wired for is writing, music, spending time with people, using my education to help others, and being an encourager. And I love being a mom (most of the time at least). I didn’t always KNOW these things about myself-I’ve had to figure them out over time. (By the way, I’m still figuring)
Another way to find out is to ask others: what do you think I’m about? Careful who you ask, though. You may be uttering, “For the love” at their responses. But it’s a fun exercise to see what your friends say. Once you’ve found it, then OWN it. Or as Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet:
3. Know Your Love Language (and Your Significant Other’s Too)
A few years back, my husband and I took a test to find our what our love language is (based on the book by Gary Chapman). The five choices are: Words of Affirmation; Quality Time; Receiving Gifts; Acts of Service; and Physical Touch. For me, my love language is Quality Time. Makes sense when you consider one of the main actions to express love to a person with that love language is taking trips. Yep. TRAVEL. Boo-yah.
I LIVE to travel. Gotta have something planned or I get all twitchy. Like right now. We have nothing booked and I’m a hot mess. But the reason why I love to travel with my family is what happens on those trips. We grow and get to know each other better. Try new things (like swimming with dolphins or a new cuisine). Laugh more and play and just unwind. Those vacations are life-giving. For me, family vacations are building blocks of love and memory making.
Knowing what makes you tick (aka your love language) and what makes your significant other tick is SUPER important. Now my husband gets it why I lobby every year for us to take a vacation for Christmas and just forgo a bunch of gifts. Sadly, not everyone is on board with this idea, but hey, it’s not their love language and they want to be home for Christmas, so I get it.
4. Remember Where It All Comes From
I’m gonna close this post with the lyrics and recording of the song “When Love Was Born” by Mark Schulz. Because this says it all.
Starlight shines
The night is still
Shepherds watch from a hill
I close my eyes and see the night
When love was bornPerfect child gently waits
A mother bends to kiss God’s face
I close my eyes and see the night
When love was bornAngels fill the midnight sky, they sing
Hallelujah, He is Christ our KingEmmanuel, Prince of Peace,
Love come down for you and me
Heaven’s gift, the Holy spark
To light the way inside our heartsBethlehem through your small door
Came the hope we’ve waited for
The world was changed forever more
When love was bornI close my eyes and see the night
When love was born”
For the love, indeed.
-Sherry