It happens. I know. I just didn’t think it would be you.
It’s complicated. And yes, we both had a part in the friendship’s demise. I don’t claim to be a saint or innocent. But I’m thankful at least I can say I kept trying. For a while at least.
It sucks because our kids were also friends. And now, I don’t think they can say that they are. They don’t see each other.
What hurts the most is that we didn’t fight enough to keep the friendship going. You were struggling with your demons and frustrations and didn’t see me as someone to confide in about that. Once the one constant we shared was gone, it proved that it was the glue that held our friendship together. So when you left the constant, you also left me. I tried. I thought we were headed back in the right direction. And then silence. You didn’t reciprocate and eventually I gave up.
I miss you, friend. But I still wonder, why did you give up on US?
What do you do when someone you thought was a forever friend isn’t even a friend anymore?
I keep asking myself: “How did I get that one so wrong?” and “How did this happen?”
And no, I don’t need the platitudes of a friend can be one for a season and maybe that season changed. While I know that is true, it doesn’t make me feel any better.
I miss my friend. At the same time, I’m mad at her for not being true blue. I want to hug her, laugh like we used to, and put all this crap behind us. I also want to punch a punching bag to take out all my anger and frustration about her. It’s really complicated.
What would I do if she reached out to me after all this time? Hopefully I would be kind and gracious. But a small part of me would think I was being a wuss in doing that.
What would you do?